


Warped Mind

by Abitscrewy



Category: Soul Eater
Genre: Backstory, Drabble, F/M, Headcanon, One Shot, Short One Shot, Short Story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-10
Updated: 2016-07-10
Packaged: 2018-07-22 16:22:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7445830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Abitscrewy/pseuds/Abitscrewy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A drabble I did for my headcanon on Stein's backstory.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Warped Mind

**Author's Note:**

> I fixed it. Apparently it didn't all transfer.

It all started with a dead dog in a child’s room, stomach split open. Bloody scissors on the floor next to it, the flesh held open by pins, paper clips, and clothespins.

Mental evaluations showed a child with an extremely high madness level. Teens normally go through a phase where their body naturally fluctuates due to hormones, but this child was only five. The parents grew ‘concerned’ for their child. They didn’t want to raise a psychopath, they couldn’t handle the responsibility of a child to begin with. A bad relationship, held together just barely through the violence. They managed to keep it quiet. Never left any physical marks on the child. Ever since he was born, the doctors said he might be different. His brain grew a little differently in sections. His soul was strong but changing every so often. ‘His moral center may be damaged due to problems during the pregnancy’, or something to that effect.  
He just sits there during the evaluation, staring at the doctor.

“Why did you hurt that dog?”

Silence.

“I won’t tell anyone.”

“I wanted to see.” The child mused.

“See what?” The doctor cautiously continued.

“His belly. From the inside,” The child grinned, and the doctor wrote his evaluation after more questions, simpler ones. Ones that never seem to have anything to do with anything that’s happened.

The doctors want the parent’s permission to study the child, who seems like a force of nature. He’s more sensitive to madness than most children, or anyone else. If they can find out why he’s like this, or what happened to him to make his mind so warped, they could possibly help others.  
The parents abandon the child, they give him up for adoption and remark that they don’t care what’s done with him.  
“He could be a lab rat for all we care.”

So he became one.

He lived in a small facility, guarded by large men who never understood why they were watching a child. They weren’t told anything about him, that was information for the doctors.  
He was observed by ‘doctors’, ‘scientists’ who were closer to sadists than anything else. The child continued to grow and wander and do what he’d normally do, but they allowed no sharp objects, nothing dangerous in his room. It irked him, he grew restless. At some point he completely destroyed his room, yelling at people that aren’t there and throwing things about. When one of the guards tried to stop him, the kid stabbed him in the leg with a piece of broken wood from the desk he’d just smashed.

**Sadistically violent tendencies, schizophrenia, uncontrollable violent episodes during which he seems to black out.**

They changed to metal tables. When the voices he heard would get bad he’d try to slam his head against it, but he was normally stopped. Sometimes they just.. Let him. They did nothing to try to change his condition. Only ever studied it.

He wanted to leave. He desperately asked for it, but they refused. When he was nearly seven, they started him on medicine. He was told it was to help with the voices, but it only made them worse. That was all planned of course, push the boundaries of his paranoia towards them. They wanted him to fear everyone there, except for one person. A doctor he only knew by a letter. Doctor E. E was kind and gave him good food, food that didn’t make him sick. They were nice; an older doctor.  
He died when the child turned seven. A lot would continue to happen on his birthdays. He came to resent them.

The condition he has gets no better or worse, the only thing that might have made it worse was the boredom. He could do nothing. He had to be restrained so he wouldn’t scratch at his arms and neck. Some days he would just lay there, his back to the double-sided mirror they watched him through. The doctors started to get bored too. They required different stimuli, to see how he reacted.

They tried punishment for violent outbursts. Fighting fire with fire, so they thought, but he only found ways to hurt them. He’d bite as hard as his jaw would allow if they touched him. He loved their yelps of pain.

They tried a psychiatrist, taught him how to play chess. He was good at it, a smart kid. A protege of the mind. He started to be able to read souls, showing sings of maybe becoming a good meister someday. If they ever let him out of this hellhole.  
The doctor started to become disturbed, the child had an odd affect on people around him for long periods of time. They began getting paranoid, reporting that he would give them terrifying looks. Eventually after a while they start to have violent episodes as well, the psychiatrist attacked him. He had a concussion, but he was laughing through the entire attack. The doctor just kept screaming “He’s a demon, a monster, look at his eyes. All of them.”

**His Madness has the ability to spread when not controlled by himself of administered medicines.**

They try to calm his tendencies by strapping him to a metal table and sending volts through his body. It makes him worse, the opposite of what they need... 

They tried to get him to take new medicine, something that would actually work, but he was too paranoid by then. His time here had made him violent towards all the doctors, scientists, even the people who just brought him food. He asked if it was drugged. It most likely was.

They drop him off at some orphanage in Death City when he was halfway to being Eight. The matron wasn’t a very good one. She’s lazy, arrogant, hateful towards the children; your stereotypical bitch. He didn’t speak, didn’t talk to anyone. He’s alone, until a boy approached him. A troublemaker, but not violent. Just an idiot. His name is Spirit. It took him a year, but he got the child to talk.

He had nightmares, ever since he was three an the madness started getting worse. Spirit found out about them one night when he found the kid wandering around at three in the morning. He asked why the silver-haired one was walking, and he muttered something about nightmares and eyes being everywhere. Drugs in the food, odd little ramblings that meant nothing to Spirit. He let his friend stay with him in his room while he slept, and eventually it became a habit. The child wouldn’t sleep there, he was just able to come in when he had a nightmare. Having someone nearby with no insanity evened it out, took a load off his shoulders. They became friends.  
It was a year later when the child finally revealed his name to be Franken. Spirit told his friends, boasted that he was able to get the kid to speak up. They just teased him for having an odd name. As if that ever meant anything. He started to go by Stein.

The Matron’s husband started to get violent with the older children. Stein stepped in front of them and stared at the man, that piercing look. He started to take the beatings instead, even taught himself to fight back. The husband was easy to figure out, given Stein’s intellect for his age. He was underestimated in every fight.

He gained a reputation in the orphanage. People bullied him, they were sent to the hospital. He didn’t care when he was punished, it was never as bad as back in that facility. Spirit helped him not to attack as many people, not get punished as much, but he knew it wouldn’t change anything. The only motivation he had to not attack people was Spirit, the only friend he has. He obliged because he’d have been damned to lose this person. Inside he hated himself for letting Spirit in, letting him get so close like others had done. It always ended badly.

Stein began to smuggle items into his room and hide them, anything sharp. Stray animals on the street would go missing when he was allowed out, so he was no longer allowed out. He was told he’d never be adopted and he didn’t care. Why should he let random people have control over his life? People who could, at any moment, give him up again or hurt him. He wouldn’t want the risk anyway. They tried to get him a psychiatrist. That made it two. He started showing signs of self harm outside of those uncontrollable violent episodes. Those were related to him trying to get the voices out of his head. These were him giving into the voices. For about a month when he was eleven he was placed on suicide watch. They didn’t have the money for meds and he wouldn’t take them anyway.

When he was twelve, the orphanage got a large donation. They could afford them, so they got them for him. It was their obligation. Spirit was the only one who could get him to take them. When he forgot, the withdrawal was terrifying. Hallucinations haunted him, hellish images of things he couldn’t even describe. Some kids thought he was faking to get attention or drugs or something, and the never saw him coming. Days without meds were hell, and if someone approached him they’d be attacked. Unless they were Spirit.

At the age of fourteen, there was a very bad day. His birthday, of course. The Matron’s husband who now owned the property after a divorce with his wife was drunk, and getting violent. He’d finished his bottle of whatever it was, and had Stein pinned to the wall by his throat. The bottle was smashed, and a sharp edge was placed against his chest as the man slurred offensive terms. Stein could hardly hear over the ringing in his ear.  
Another concussion.  
He had hid a knife in his sleeve somehow, and with ease he slipped the blade across the man’s jugular. There was no scream or yelp, only soft gurgling as he struggled to breathe. Franken dropped to the ground, holding himself for a moment as he giggled quietly. Spirit found them in a pool of blood.

They got all of the kids out, and burned the place down.

A year later he was found by some new doctors, who were more concerned as to how he would affect the community rather than himself. They put him in another facility, a ‘hospital’. They kept him sedated, though when he got away with not taking his meds it was still terrible. His visions came back tenfold, amplified by all the madness surrounding him. Group therapy was hell. One of the other ‘patients’ showed him how to smoke cigarettes. He wasn’t sold on them at first, but the other insisted, so he continued. The smoke was soothing, watching it curl around the colors of air he saw through his visions. They distracted from the horrible creatures he knew weren’t real.  
He became addicted to the distraction, finally able to relax somehow. Relaxation came with letting his apathetic guard down, letting emotions slip through. He wept silently in empty halls he found, where nobody would go. He got lost in himself. The therapist tried to get him to describe what was in his head, send him into a trance. He went into a craze and blacked out for an entire year.

Spirit made some kind of deal with Lord Death at the famous DWMA, and got Stein out. He was different, addicted to these terrible things. He wouldn’t take his meds, he normally just forgot, or maybe his memory was selective. He became a Meister, taking classes. He’d already taught himself how to fight but now he could refine it. He became extremely powerful, and found that his soul could mold into whatever shape he wanted it. He finally… Finally had some element of control.  
It  
    was  
**Euphoric** _._

He learned to wield Spirit as a weapon, take his meds, practice his technique. He could practice with any weapon, if they would transform for him. The trouble with having a reputation was that people were scared of him, so he found other ways. Normal weapons with no souls, objects. He learned that he could amplify his own soul wavelength without using a weapon.  
Spirit still let him stay with him if he had nightmares. Stein took that time to practice. He learned to be a surgeon, with no licence, no training in a school. He taught himself how to cut open a person whilst keeping them asleep. Spirit gained more odd scars, and then someone else noticed.  
Spirit and Kami were getting married, so it was put off. Kami felt that maybe Stein would get bored and stop. The wedding happened, a child was born. Maka. A strong soul, such a small child.

When he was weeks from eighteen, Kami confronted him. She scolded Stein, called him a monster and a freak. Spirit even came to fear him. Stein agreed. He was a monster, and a freak, and a psychopath. He normally relished in other people’s fear and pain…  
But Spirit stopped talking to him. Avoided him, told him to go away. They were friends. They were partners.

But Stein didn’t need him as a weapon. Or.. Or a friend.  
Right?

He could have any weapon, he can wield any soul. He can wield his own soul, right?

It didn’t compare, didn’t feel right. Something didn’t feel right. He ran away, to the edge of the city. He wandered for days, didn’t eat or sleep, didn’t take his medicine. He needed that medicine. He didn’t even smoke. He found an old broken building.

Broken.  
Just like him.

It was a large space, he grew attached to it. He found lots of odd things there, items among the rubble. Nobody ever went there it seems, not even party-goers looking for a place to hang.  
It was perfect.

He stayed there until he turned eighteen.

 

Weeks later he returned to the academy. Spirit still feared him, but it had lessened. He thought he owed Stein at least a visit with his child, as long as Stein didn’t do anything to her. He did nothing to her, she was far too young. It would have reminded him too much of what happened to him. He spends some time with Maka, but not very much before Kami pushes him away again.

Kami and Spirit fought. Stein found jobs. Worked in a cafe until he had an episode in the back room and destroyed some of the product. He found new medicine, got a new therapist. That one didn’t work, but he got a new job as a bodyguard. It was a good job. He saved a lot of money. He got a new weapon, re-did his classes with her. Marie Mjolnir. She’s powerful, and he could wield her. A strong weapon with a strong meister. He noticed that she calmed him, calmed his madness. [There was a fight with a Kishin.](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7664992) They almost didn't win. She lost her eye, he gained a scar on his face. They spent time together in the hospital. He became addicted to her presence and he didn’t know why. He made her a Death Scythe and she was stationed in Australia.. He couldn’t go with her due to other things, and he broke down. He retreated to that old broken building. Retreated into himself.

Destroyed himself.  
Tore himself apart.  
Shoved something in his head.

Then his emotions had a switch he could turn.

Went back to the old routine. Didn’t eat or sleep or take the damned medicine. If she were there he wouldn’t need them. Eventually he uses his savings to rebuild the place. It takes him until he’s twenty-one, but he does it and lives there. It still doesn’t fill the hole she left.

Why did she leave a void? He didn’t know her that well outside of being partners. He didn’t let his defenses down, but there was something about her. He couldn’t even describe the feeling, he felt selfish for wanting to be near her constantly. Like she was his medicine, his IV, his drug, that he was addicted. He came to resent her for a while, he resented everything.

Until he felt.. Nothing.

He went to school to become a doctor. He got his license, became a mortician, but he got bored and left to run a clinic out of the lab he had built. It was tedious work but it paid decently. Enough for him to survive. He’d finally started eating again during school. He didn’t make any friends or connections. There was Sid and his weapon from the academy, but he hardly kept in touch.

His apathy took over. He became sarcastic in nature without even trying. It was his mask, to keep people from asking “Are you okay?” all the time. He was so tired of that phrase. He’s never okay. Okay is a generalized term. He’s never been a part of any generalized anything other than generalized tests. He’s not a person you could categorize. He was always outside labels, looking in curiously. Observing. He’d always been good with science.. Still a genius.

He was twenty seven when Death asked him to do a favor. He owed death many favors, so many favors.. He obliged, and taught some remedial kids their lessons… Along with one Maka Albarn. He recognized her almost instantly, it took him a moment. They leave as fast as they came, and Death asks him to teach. He’s knowledgeable, smart, the prized Meister of the academy… Those were all titles others gave him other than ‘freak’. He accepted the job and started teaching again… The madness seemed like it had faded. His sadistic tendencies shone through on occasion but he never attacked students, not like he used to when he was a student.

Then the Kishin was revived. Everything went to hell in his head. The voices broke through. Medusa.

Medusa Medusa _MEduSa.._ She asked him to join her, and he thought about it. Fight back against this god that had him on a leash. He couldn’t. He had to stay loyal, he didn’t want to risk his life, his sanity, everything he’d finally accomplished. He killed her. Destroyed her, mangled her body. She was still alive, latched herself onto him and bit him. He killed her again but in that moment, the madness felt like that same euphoria. It takes him some time to recover.

There’s a new student, a black blooded androgynous meister with a weapon for their blood. It intrigues him but he’s not allowed..

 

Marie returned. He tried to push back any joy for her return. He managed to shove apathy back into his head, right in front of the hiding madness. Marie began to live with him in the lab. She added color to it, something he never imagined. It was odd. She was soothing for a while, but suddenly it just.. Stopped working. In fact, he got worse when she was around. He started locking himself in his room, trying to get himself together. The madness was enveloping him and he couldn’t control it and he didn’t know why. It was terrifying.

He broke a mirror, he nearly attacked Maka… He broke apart at the battle for BREW, and was put on house arrest. He kept blacking out, and then..

and then…

Someone killed Joe, someone Death had brought in for whatever reason.

Stein’s favorite cigarette brand was found near the terribly mangled body, and he couldn’t remember if he killed the poor bastard. He wracked his brain, he interrogated the voices, he talked with himself. There were investigations, interrogations.. Or was that before he died… His brain was jumbled, his eidetic memory was failing him.

It hurt to think about it so he stopped, until they arrived to arrest him. He was calm and quiet at first, but as they told him he was under arrest he just.. Broke. It couldn’t have been him, right? He didn’t do it, right?

_Someone please tell me if I did this!!_

He couldn’t stand it, he was having a breakdown but instead of taking him to Death they took him to Marie.. Her soothing aura was back the way it used to be. Whatever happened, someone had fixed it. He forced himself back into apathy. The more he did that, the more it hurt him to do it every time.  
_I can’t allow any more emotions or I won’t be able to control myself._  
That’s what he told himself.  
Control. He wanted control. He was desperate for it, he wanted so badly to taste what every living being but himself had. Control over their mind, their life, their actions.

_Stop thinking about it…_

Marie and Stein went looking for the real killer, but inside he still questioned if he had killed Joe. Poor Marie.. She was with Joe for a while… Stein never understood love, never felt it, never received it. It didn’t matter to him…

They found Justin Law. He’d gone mad, Stein could hardly hold onto himself during the battle. He had to fight a fellow classmate, as if that meant anything to him. Justin was always so strong, so loyal to Death. It’s odd what madness can do to someone like Justin. They fought him, and got proof that Stein didn’t kill Joe. Marie and he rested at a hotel.

She kissed him, and his mind flooded with emotion. He could hardly breathe but the one thing that seemed to matter was that she kissed him and he kissed back. He’d never done anything associated with this before, but he felt her passion.

The night filled with passion and lust and maybe..

Maybe even love.

In the morning he asked what it meant to her. What love meant to her, how to tell when you love something or someone. She explained it as best as she could, but nobody can truly explain love. Not science, doctors, analogies, studies, not even lovers themselves. It’s a force of nature.

Just like him.

 

He thinks he loves her.  
There were battles, there was insanity. They fought on the moon against a god of madness and he let himself go, yet he found control. It felt amazing to let go yet to be in control. After the battle they announced it, Marie was pregnant. He knew it was his, he could just.. Tell….

He hopes to god it won’t turn out like he has. He’s still broken, apathy still haunts him, he struggles with it, he even gave up smoking… As well as he could anyway.

 

All he’s certain of is that he loves Marie Mjolnir. She is his life, his anchor, his sanity, his world. She is his reason for living. He can argue with the voices now. When they ask why he doesn’t just kill himself. He can just say “Marie.” and everything is okay. She makes him cry and laugh and love, and he loves every moment that he’s around her.

He can’t stop kissing her.

  
She helped him feel love.


End file.
